It's Time For a Heart to Heart

OK, I have to admit it—I’m tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m tired because I need to keep moving forward, but I’m so busy I don’t even have time to think!

“If only I had time for myself!”

Sound familiar? Are you overwhelmed by your to-do list, constantly striving to keep up while trying to please everyone around you? Do you long for time to yourself but feel too busy to even think about it?

You’re not alone. So many of us get caught in the weeds of daily life—working hard, checking off tasks, and putting others first—without pausing to lift our heads, take a deep breath, and simply be.

The Wake-Up Call

For a while now, I’ve been pouring my energy into building my coaching business—crafting new ideas, growing my client base, and enhancing the impact of my work. My mind has been in overdrive, strategizing and problem-solving while keeping up with everyday life.

And then, one afternoon, it hit me:

I’d been so consumed with thinking and doing that I had completely neglected my own well-being—especially my heart.

Rather than tuning into my intuition and allowing myself moments of stillness, I was rushing from one thing to the next. I wasn’t frantic, but a quiet anxiety lingered in the background of my thoughts, even as I tried to sleep.

Ironically, as a coach, I teach self-care. I encourage my clients to listen to their hearts, yet I had been ignoring my own!

A Heartfelt Reminder: Three Ways to Prioritize Yourself

So, let’s take a few minutes to have a heart-to-heart about taking care of you. Here are three simple yet powerful ways to start listening to your heart:

1. Stop Trying to Please Everyone—Start with Yourself.
True fulfillment doesn’t come from checking off a never-ending to-do list or seeking approval from others. It starts with you. Instead of waiting for success to bring happiness, flip the script—embrace happiness now, and watch success follow. Take a moment to look up at the sky, feel the warmth of the sun, and let your inner child play.

2. Check In with Your Higher Self Every Morning.
Before you even get out of bed, name one thing you love about yourself. Don’t overthink it. Just listen to your heart. Let your intuition—not your inner critic—set the tone for your day. Decide, right then and there, which voice will guide you: the one that uplifts and encourages you, or the one that holds you back.

3. Ditch Perfectionism and Take Imperfect Action.
Perfectionism can paralyze you, keeping you stuck in fear of failure. But progress doesn’t come from waiting until everything is “just right.” It comes from taking consistent, messy, imperfect action. Give yourself permission to try, stumble, learn, and grow.

The Choice is Yours

We all have an inner saboteur—the voice that whispers we’re not enough. But we also have an inner sage—the voice that knows our worth and guides us with wisdom. Which one will you listen to today?

To make the kind of difference you want to make in the world, you must make time for your inner self. Not just occasionally, but every single day. So take a deep breath, slow down, and listen to your heart.

Your future self will thank you.

Finding Peace of Mind in these Uncertain Times

Taking Control - From the Inside Out

As we are faced with daily news and stories of the latest dramatic repercussions of COVID19, it can be hard to stay positive. In fact, many of us are living with a dark grey lump lodged in the pit of our stomach. It’s called fear. 

Besides feeling scared of getting infected yourself, you may be worried about an aging relative, of losing your job or business, or not being able to pay your rent or mortgage.  And if you’re in self-isolation, you may also be anxious about being alone, of not having enough food and supplies, or of not being able to get out to help others. These can indeed be a heavy weight to bear.

There is much in the world over which we have no control. The virus, the casualties, the media, the stats. While we cannot change these things, we do have control over how we respond to them. Worrying about something bad happening is not going to prevent it happening.  If we allow fear or anxiety to dominate our daily lives, we diminish our capacity for resourcefulness, for creativity, for kindness, and for love.

Five things you can do to help your peace of mind:

1. Acknowledge your fear or anxiety

Fear is a natural and healthy response when facing threatening events. It is designed to keep us alive.  Anxiety is a normal reaction to uncertainty. In times like these, fear or anxiety are inevitable and should be acknowledged. I am not suggesting you try to suppress these emotions, but instead understand and accept what they are. Get clear on exactly what you are afraid of.  Notice if you have the fear - or if the fear has you. It can be helpful to write them down, get them out of your head.

2. Focus on ‘What is’, not ‘What if…’

Be present to this very moment - to what is going on with you right now.  Notice where you’re sitting or standing and scan your body to see where you’re holding any tension. Be mindful of your breathing-in and breathing-out, noticing the rise and fall of your chest and appreciate the life-giving oxygen flowing to and from your brain. Notice the fear and accept it for what it is. It’s OK.  Meditation is a calm and effective way to ground yourself in the present moment. When those worrying thoughts creep in about what might lie ahead, know that worrying changes nothing, so let them go. Accept the things you cannot change and make a plan to take action on those you can.

3. Connect with your authentic self

While social and self-isolation can be a scary thing for some, it is also an opportunity for deep self-reflection and self-connection. Without the usual distractions of shopping, playing sports, or meeting friends for drinks, it is easy to feel lonely after a while, and possibly to slide into a vortex of negative emotions.  So instead, take this time alone to think about what you want to do with your life, and look for purpose and meaning beyond our current crisis. Writing can be a helpful witness to really getting to know your authentic self. Designing your life and focusing on a more positive future not only reduces fear but also boosts your immune function.

4. Find something to appreciate

For all of us, it’s easy to get caught up in the news and the wave of negativity that is sweeping across our planet. So instead of getting swept downward in a spiral of fear, find something to appreciate, look for something positive. There is a silver lining if you look for it. There will be something, if not many things, that you can be grateful for.  But you have to go find them with intention, otherwise all you’ll see is fear or anxiety. Right now, concentrate on something positive and meaningful.

5. Think of new ways to connect with others

In these times, our relationships with others become ever more important.  In your social or self-isolation, find other ways to reach out to friends, family and neighbours.  Anxiety is contagious, so is kindness. So while you may become aware of other people’s distress and needs, stay true to your authentic self - be a good listener and offer calm support.  You will both benefit from this connection.

I want to help ….

I myself am in self-isolation as my husband recently returned from England.  While we too worry about issues relating to health, business and paying the mortgage, we know there are many others in much worse shape than us. At least we have each other in our isolation.

While I may not be able to remove your fear, nor come and sit on the couch beside you, I can still use my experience as a certified Integral and Purpose Coach to help you find some peace of mind and a more positive way forward in these uncertain times.

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What really matters to you?

It’s about purpose ….

Someone asked me the other day: “What are you most afraid of?’ I was thrilled - it’s one of my favourite questions. For me it’s a door opener into a deeper conversation about life; it gets people thinking, opening up, being more vulnerable.  It leads to connection and greater intimacy, expressing our human beingness. I love asking that question. But then I realized … I’m not so good at answering it for myself!

Mother Nature knows

I was pondering this question on my walk in the forest this morning, as I sloshed my way through the puddles and laughed when the spray blew up into my face from the racing river below.  I often find answers to those deeper tricky-to-answer questions by turning to Mother Nature to see what messages she has, providing clarity for my thinking.

So it was this morning, as I carefully walked down the slippery steps, slimy and green from all this rain, that I was pondering on ‘what am I afraid of?’.  Then, as the path leveled out beneath my feet, answers began to flow in my head, like the river beside me, murky and swirling in places, then gushing and spewing its way through the narrower chasms, its fine spray enveloping me in an enchanting perspective of life through the mist.

Am I afraid of not being happy?

That was my immediate answer, but my thoughts continued to swirl like the river churning beside me.  Am I afraid of dying? Or worse, living an unfulfilled life? Uncertainty prevailed. But just as I stepped up onto a big rock at the river’s edge, focusing my gaze on the opposite bank, I knew with sudden clarity the answer I’d been looking for.  I’m afraid that I don’t matter. With a surge of emotion rising up inside me, matching the equally powerful downpour around me – I knew this was the truth.

It’s not that I’m looking to accomplish great things for the sake of achieving greatness, nor is it to have people whisper my name in awe after I’m dead and gone – but it’s important to me to do something useful, to not waste this precious thing called life, to do something that matters.

I have a choice

I have such an advantage over those who are dying of starvation, or who travel alone in a hostile world leaving family buried under rubble. I feel it’s my duty, my obligation to do something useful with my life.  From this place of privilege, abundance, peace, and good health, I have the choice to do something with my life - or not.

It’s important for me to do work that matters, making a positive difference in people’s lives, contributing to the greater good, raising global consciousness.

To be the best we can be

As individuals, it’s not just the work we do that matters, but who we are that matters.  We can be full of doubts and fears, and worry that we’re not good enough or big enough to make the difference we want to make - playing small instead. 

Or, in the face of overwhelming odds (those pesky doubts we have about ourselves), we can realize our own unique potential and step up to the challenge of being the very best we can be.

This lies at the heart of many conversations I’ve had recently, bubbling up from people of all ages. It’s a conversation about ‘purpose.’

Making a difference

As I looked up through the raindrops this morning at the magnificent Douglas Firs towering above me, I recognized myself as a mere microcosm in the grand scheme of the universe, less than a seven-billionth member of the human race.  So, what on earth can I do that would actually make a difference, that would actually matter? I know I have the potential to do something useful with my life – but what? 

When I look at the pain and suffering in the world, I somehow feel ashamed, embarrassed that as human beings we’re not pulling together to halt the steady degradation caused by our greed for wealth, power and comfort.  For those of us who are trying to do something good, it’s sometimes hard to stay the course when we see how much injustice there is in the world, and how much corruption and fake news seem to win the day.

How can I possibly make a difference when all that’s going on? When the problems are so huge, what can I, just little old me, do about it?

We all have a purpose

Looking upstream, it suddenly dawned on me that the waterfall cascading down above me is made up of gazillions of water droplets, each one contributing to the whole beautiful swirling river on its way out to sea. Each and every droplet has a purpose - supporting Nature, nurturing life.

As this tiny human being in the great cosmos of life, I alone cannot solve the world’s problems, but I can make a small but valuable contribution, fulfilling my role as a fully expressed, loving human being.

Every task I complete with love and compassion, no matter how small in the outside world, is a stepping stone to a life of integrity and fulfillment in my inside world. 

So, what am I really afraid of?  I’m afraid of not living up to my potential or fulfilling my purpose, of not expressing who I really am, of not doing my very best.

That’s what really matters

Still standing in the rain, I was again in awe of Mother Nature’s wise counsel:  The best I can do is the best I can be. Helping others find their own unique purpose – to be the best they can be – that’s what really matters to me. Like the countless droplets in the river beside me, as we flow down the river of life, we will collectively help humanity to be the best we can be.  And that’s what really matters to the world.

So, what really matters to you?

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Five things to help you reveal your potential

1. Be grateful - appreciate what you have and listen to the wisdom of Mother Nature 

2. Have compassion - remember we all have feelings, be gentle and help your fellow humans 

3. Be authentic - don’t try and be someone you’re not - just be your true Self. You’re perfect the way you are

4. Play a bigger game - don’t take the easy route, step up, make a difference every day 

5. Be curious - pay attention to messages from the Universe, there are signposts all the way

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Starting A Fresh chapter

Reflecting, Resetting, and Moving Forward

Every new year brings a sense of possibility, but this year feels especially significant. It’s not just the turning of a calendar page—it’s an invitation to pause, reflect, and intentionally shape what comes next. No matter how the past years have unfolded—whether they were filled with triumphs, challenges, or a mix of both—this moment offers us the opportunity to reset our course and step into the future with clarity and purpose.

Completing the Past to Create a Clear Future

Gaining clarity for the future starts with making peace with the past. Before we can fully embrace what’s ahead, it’s essential to acknowledge and complete what has come before. That means celebrating our wins, mourning our losses, and releasing anything that no longer serves us.

We can’t change the past, but we can change how we carry it forward. Forgiveness—whether for ourselves or others—frees us from lingering regrets and resentments. Even our most difficult experiences hold valuable lessons, and by embracing them with compassion, we transform them into stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.

The Courage to Look Back

We live in a world that often encourages us to chase comfort and avoid discomfort. But true growth happens when we face life’s challenges with courage and curiosity. Instead of shying away from difficult moments, let’s lean into them and ask, What can I learn? How have these experiences shaped me? Who have I become because of them?

At the same time, let’s not forget to cherish and celebrate the moments of joy, love, and accomplishment. The full spectrum of our experiences—both painful and beautiful—contributes to who we are today.

Adjusting the Rear-View Mirror

Much like looking into a rear-view mirror, we can choose how we see the road behind us. If we focus only on the hardships, we may feel stuck in regret. But shifting our perspective allows us to see the milestones, the growth, and the moments that brought light into our lives. The past is a rich tapestry woven with lessons and memories—we get to decide which threads we carry forward.

Designing the Future from the Present

The past may inform us, but it does not define us. Our future isn’t built from what has been; it’s created by the choices we make now. So rather than simply setting another resolution that may fade with time, let’s ask ourselves deeper questions:

• Who do I want to be?

• What impact do I want to make?

• A year from now, how do I want to look back on this moment?

By setting our internal compass with intention, we create a vision for the life we truly want to live.

Stepping Boldly Into What’s Next

So here’s to stepping into this next chapter with open hearts, clear minds, and unwavering courage. May the coming months be filled with meaningful moments, deep connections, and opportunities for growth. May we embrace challenges as teachers, celebrate our progress, and move forward with purpose.

Wishing you a year of clarity, courage, and transformation!

Charlie

If you're ready to reflect, realign, and create a vision for your next chapter, I’d love to support you on that journey. As a certified Integral and Purpose Coach, I can help you gain clarity, set meaningful goals, and step into the life you truly want to create.